How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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