if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
