I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
