i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
