I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
