Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
