In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
