sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it glows. i had to have it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
