I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
