Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
