i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
