Fine. I'll sleep in my office
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
