Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's always time for handjobs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
