Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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