the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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