Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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