is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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