It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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