we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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