Sponge bath it is.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
