ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
