one two three fourrrrnication!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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