scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
