Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
