is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
