Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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