it's like iHOP with fire
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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