I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
