Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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