Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
