so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
