I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
someone owes me an orgasm
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
