did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
