Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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