My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize