Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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