my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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