I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
