so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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