I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
