OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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