so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
