So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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