The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
