I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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