i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize