ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
