my room smells like sperm. sweet.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize