he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
