and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
