Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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