I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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