Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
