And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize