out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
