I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
