it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
