first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
