the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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