I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
