sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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