so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
