I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
