Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize