sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
