I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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