4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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