But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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