You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have post one night stand depression
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