Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
